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| I love cool and windy nights like tonight. It reminds me of how we used to cuddle in your bed at night, and how we used to wander the streets at 4am in the morning :)
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| Omggggggg I'm soooooo ANNOYED RIGHT NOW. I just don't fucking understand ECONS. I hate e damn subject so bad. I'm not even stressed like the "omg i'm so gonna fucking fail my exams" but like "OMFG WHAT IS THIS SHIT TALKING ABOUT????" Kinda makes me feel like i have down sydrome or something. BUT NO. I think e person who came up with econs is a FUCKING RETARD. Ughhhhhhhhh. Annoyed to the max. Not to mention I've been sitting at starbucks ALONE for the past 4 hours. And trying to understand this crap. LEE WAN TING faster comeeeeeeeeee. I'm going to die alone. Ugh I'm gonna slit my wrist now. BYE.
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| I just read my older entries. Some from 2006, then 2007, then 2008. I was about an infinite times happier than I am now. I don't know how things changed, I don't know how I changed. I really really really don't know. They just did. Everything fell apart and out of place. Somehow, it still feel like it is. Except that I got used to it.
Thought it would be fun to read some of my older entries:
"oh well, i fell aslp by 2 plus la. im such a lousy shit. but its not my fault!!! i told ting n peixi to wake me up. but they didnt. waitttt, they said they did. bt they failed miserably. hahahahah. and i was talking nonsense to them. like wtf? i dont even rmb what i said. bt according to peixi, its extremely stupid.u dont even wanna know. ahhahaha. ohhh, X came over at like 4 plus? i have no idea wad time actually, cos i was slping already. hahahah. and ting only slept at like 6? so tiring la. poor her. but nvm, im sure shes happy. hahahahha"
- 30th Sep 2006
"yay, now we can go underage clubbing together without chop transferring! omg, this is so exciting! HAHAHAHAHA"
- 7th Dec 2006
"omgggggg, juangie, when was e last time i saw u, man? i really really really miss u okay. i think i cant live without SEEING you, for like what, four days max. thats our record for TWO YEARS. haahahhahahahahha."
- 28th Dec 2006
(i TRULY miss u know juangie. new record has been set)
"then i met ting! :D damn funny! we were doing the super cool nj cheer. hahahha! sorry for being such a traitor! and we were MW-ing. HAHAHHAA. since many ppl think we're Ms, we decided to obsereve them, and we're playin to dress as them e next time we go out. HAHAHHA! FUNNNNN! :D :D :D we were ROC-ing everywhere la. damn funny. hahahhaha"
- 14th Jan 2007
"people, try not to tell me if my choice is right or wrong,
because whether good or bad, its up to me.
and i'll try to make e best out of everything :)"
- 7th Mar 2007
"shopped around. peixi bought a few stuff. i didnt though.
i was too broke. haha!
OH WAIT, i bought herbal essences citrus lift.
which reminds me tt i left it with peixi.
dude, kindly remember to return it to me.
haiiiiiiiiiii, somehow i dont think u will :("
- 12th Mar 2007
(YEA she never did)
"met a couple of friends. and uhh we went drinking?
hmm. i dont usually drink"
- 12th Mar 2007
"then we went over to schwazz's to dye juangie's hair!
omg, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!
ahhahaha, now teachers wont catch her for brown hair everrrrrr! "
- 22nd Jun 2007
(ermmmm yea SURE never caught again)
"i'll remember everything we had in this 3 months 27 days.
not all happy, but everyday i loved you. i still do."
- 3rd Apr 2008
"i wanna run over to your house now, lie down next to u, in your arms and cry my heart out, and tell you how much i miss you, how much i want you, how much i love you, and please dont leave me. "
-6th Apr 2008
"oh, and peirong is officially the hai long wang (dragon king!) HAHA. cos puffs like a dragon. and wanting can be the hai long kong zhu (dragon princess!) hahaha cos her puff wasn't as strong as peirong's."
- 10th Jun 2008
"i don't know how to describe it. but not seeing him just feels wrong and awkward, like i forgot to brush my teeth in the morning."
-10th Jun 2008
"i have no one i want to share it with. my thoughts my feelings my fears.
because i realize i can't get myself to trust or love anyone anymore. and i don't want to."
- 21st Nov 2008
"my math is so FUCKING HORRIBLE i'll probably end up with 5. WHICH IS SHITTTTTTTT. i want a fucking 7 for math"
- 2nd Nov 2008
I seriously used ALOT of "hahahahhahahahahah". Don't judge. I was like 16 or 17. Unlike the new me, 20 and all grown up. I use "^^V" and "HAHA" instead.
Goodnight world
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| If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
We've always had time on our sides
Now it's fading fast
Every second every moment
We've gotta make it last
Sigh i looove this song so much i could listen to it on repeat e whole night.
I really wished we loved each other more. Felt more strongly and passionate for each other. Or learn how to. But that's not how it works isn't it. I guess I can imagine myself liking someone else (although that sounds highly unlikely). But I don't know what I'll do if I find out if he starts liking someone else. I don't know if its possible to have my heart ache more than it already does. Oh well, fuck it. Time heals everything right? Brain of mine isn't functioning (omg i typed "fuckioning" HAHA) anymore. Probably because I am so sleep-deprived ): Just now I was just sitting in my chair, staring at my blank screen and I started crying for no reason. I really really really don't know why. I just felt SAD. Okay neverminddd its probably because I just can't accept the fact that LIFE IS UGLY. I like fairytales although I know its stupid and doesn't exist. In fairytales, good people have happy endings and villians get what they deserve. But thats not real life at all. Life is just UGLY for everyone, good or bad ones. Everyone's lives is just fucked up one way or another. Ugh, why can't fairytales be real!!! I wanna be Cinderella and marry a prince ^^
THE END
i need to sleep now. gooddanight
♥
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| Today's one of those day where rest of the world doesn't exist. I spent 14 hours sleeping today :) Can you imagine how happy I am right now? hahah I wish I could spend everyday like that. Not having to worry bout anything and just happily float around in my own little bubble.
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